One thing that I get asked a lot, mostly by ladies is: ‘Am I compatible with Mr/Ms X?’
Now, even people that know nothing about Astrology somehow know, maybe it’s because of magazine articles, that Astrology will give them some insight into the sort of people who will make them a good partner.
This is perfectly true.
Astrology will highlight aspects of your chart and your beloved’s that are good.
However, what Astrology won’t do, is ‘tell you’ or indicate, or suggest if that person you’re thinking of falling in love with….has also fallen in love with you!
Compatibility
I have written about this before
About a lady who was absolutely, 100% convinced that the man who would be her soul-mate was….Michael Jackson.
And considering this particular lady lived in Iceland, thousands of miles away from Mr Jackson in the USA, and she had no intention of packing up and leaving Iceland, I was at a loss to understand how she thought she’d be able to make a relationship from this 100% compatibility.
Don’t let this happen to you!!
In fact, if you’re dating someone right now DO NOT ask me if you’re compatible until at least 3 months into your relationship.
You might be 110% compatible with Mr’/Miss/Ms Right but she might leave the lid off the toothpaste, or kiss her dog lots, or have terrible relatives, or he might snore, or lie in when you’re raring to go, or they might like lots of spices in their food and you don’t. There are plenty of reasons to NOT get along with someone, so please curb your urge to find out your compatibility.
When they don’t love you back
Now, in affairs of love, the worst case scenario is when you love someone, madly, deeply and completely….and they don’t love you back.
At first, they might be polite and answer your texts, or calls or say ‘Hello’ to you at work or on the bus or in the pub but that doesn’t makes them fancy you.
They might even talk with you, or laugh at your jokes, or even kiss you, but that still doesn’t mean they’re in love with you.
They might even sleep with you, borrow money from you, take your child/ren to school, make their breakfasts, but still, they might not love you.
A long time ago I did a phone reading for lady who loved someone she worked with. She’d made a stuffed doll of this man (!) and wanted to know if it was a good idea for her to send it to this man of her dreams.
I very firmly told her it was not.
When someone is in a bad way, and ‘madly’ in love that isn’t reciprocated, being gentle or subtle does NOT work. It takes a lot of effort and energy to convince someone that the person they’re ‘madly’ in love with, doesn’t love them back.
The love object might have already dropped lots of subtle hints and the loved-up person is SOOOOOOO busy ‘being madly in love’ that they haven’t picked up all these subtle cues.
I’ve had clients write their love object letters, emails, send them presents (this happens a lot), buy them/or cook them meals, buy them clothes, put them up, take them ‘under their wing’, text them incessantly, Facebook post them, tweet them (doesn’t happen too much) Instant-gram them, bombard them with social media messages until the love object goes into hiding.
Imagine for a minute, someone you REALLY don’t like bombarding you with affectionate and obsessional messages and communications.
Imagine how you would feel.
You certainly wouldn’t want to date them, love them or sleep with them. In fact some men Do sleep with them in the faint and desperate hope that the Love-Up-Person will then leave them alone.
Then starts the bargaining.
“If only I can invite him/her over for lunch, if only I can see him/her for just a drink, or a film, or even a talk, or a chat”…and the obsession grows like a sort of Hungry Ghost, eating everything in it’s way.
Astrologically the sort of people who are more likely to do this are people with Pluto near the Ascendant, or in the 1st or 12th houses and I really recommend if this is you, to read Donna Cunningham’s Healing Pluto Problems .
No other book comes near her very practical advice.
Now, don’t think for one minute I’m only telling you this because I’m a therapist. I’m explaining what happens from a place of personal experience and I know exactly what happens, so really this post is to help you, because I had it happen and I know what it’s like.
The Hungry Ghost Of Love
I have noticed it’s worse in those clients who have lost their fathers, or in men who have lost their mothers when young. That death brings a deep sense of loss that only a close personal relationship can bring. But the grief of losing that parent has never truly been healed, and the Hungry Ghost of Love eats their energy and makes matters much, much worse.
Have a think about your life, have you lost someone? Has someone died that you loved and you thought you’d never replace that love?
So, how do you know is someone does love you?
When they do love you back
You’ll know because they’ll tell you.
They’ll text and say it.
Email and say it.
Say it to your face.
They’ll write you letters, doodle your name, make post-it notes about you, put random pictures on your notice board and write how much they love that person in the photo… and more….
This is a copyrighted excerpt from The Astrology of Lovers How Astrology Can Help You Love Better by Mary English published by Hensley Healing Publishers July 2017.
Mary English Astrologer Blog 